Looking back now, I experienced love bombing but at the time I was caught up in the attention I received and missed all of the warning signs.
I had joined an online dating website as a hardworking and emotionally strong woman and never considered someone would have literally groomed me.
I found myself quickly sharing sensitive information about my past to somebody I barely knew as this person seemed to understand my feelings and been ‘cheated on’ by his ex-girlfriend.
I felt genuinely sorry for him and again didn’t realise this was part of his plan to test my empathy. Our relationship was moving quickly and being described as ‘ soul mates ‘ made me feel I had met the man of my dreams. He was a sales rep which meant he travelled around lots which was perfect for me especially when he told me we would have our own space which was something I also wanted!!!
Nine months later, I was unrecognisable. both emotionally and physically as this man who claimed to love me had totally destroyed me. Prescribed antidepressants, unable to sleep and totally isolated from friends, the love of my life was back on the same dating site that we first met and had told me it was all my fault.
He went to work one morning and said he hadn’t realised I was crazy and he needed a partner that understood him ! and if I wanted someone to blame I should look in the mirror where I would find the answers.
I was in pieces and truly believed I was to blame having accused him of seeing other women when he had to “work all the time “ and found myself begging for his forgiveness. What I didn’t realise until the following year was that
I was one of the many women he had met on the internet and his job gave him the perfect cover story to groom us all.
Having learnt about narcissistic abuse, I know that everything he blamed me for was his own failings and cannot describe to anybody how corrosive these behaviours were.
I could never understand how he could just stand there when I was crying and look straight through me but looking back I can see he actually got a kick out seeing me so distraught.
He told me I would never find a decent man if he left but he was wrong and I now know this was just a manipulation tactic to keep me there.
When your gut feeling tells you something is wrong don’t ignore the red flags like I did, act on it and don’t allow a toxic person into your life.
Luckily I am in a good place now, I have a kind and compassionate husband who adores me but it took me three years to get to this place.
A story of Narcissistic Abuse that in just 9 months my entire life fell apart.
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