Having spent many hours in Court and working in Children’s services I have observed clear evidence of Parental Alienation resulting in poor decisions being made which have put children at risk.
Professionals are failing to recognise the signs of emotional abuse and parental alienation. The Narcissistic parent will weaponise their own children to continue with Coercively Controlling behaviours.
The same brainwashing techniques including gaslighting, stonewalling and projection that is being used on their intimate partners are also used on children. These are deliberate attempts to not only alienate a child against the other parent but for the Narcissist to keep the parent in a state of fear and confusion. We know what lengths the Narcissistic parent will go to in order to “seek out and destroy”. Some of these may include the Narcissistic parent encouraging a child to make false allegations and to lie when being interviewed by Social Workers, Cafcass workers and school staff.
Children are being severely traumatised in these situations and can go on to suffer from anxiety, self-harm and encounter problems in their own relationships as they approach adulthood.
A narcissistic parent presents many faces to his or her family, at home, they can demand their children look up to them yet in public the parent presents as a very relaxed parent.
Children never know which face the parent will be wearing and what is expected of them. The child might be cut down one day and praised excessively the next day just to remind them of their place in the family.
At home and in public the narcissistic parents expect perfection and obedience from the children. Because children aren’t perfect every day, they will fail their parent and there will be a consequence, so children learn to walk on eggshells just like the parent who is experiencing Narcissistic Abuse.
This is clearly emotional abuse but due to a lack of understanding of how Narcissists behave, this is not being detected by professionals. A child will rarely speak out as there is nowhere for them to escape to and they have been conditioned to believe that if they do tell someone there will be massive repercussions.
Even the most experienced professionals are failing children as the narcissists ingratiate themselves with the professionals presenting as the perfect parent just as they did at the beginning of the relationship.
We offer training packages for professionals and one to one support for parents who are trying to prove parental alienation. Please email our website for further details.